turtle club in action

We assume all prospective Turtle’s own a Jackass. On this assumption is the reason for the password. This password must be given if you are ever asked by a fellow member.

“Are you a Turtle?”

You MUST reply

“You bet your sweet ass I am!”

If you do not give the password in full because of embarrassment or some other reason, you forfeit a beverage of his or her choice.
So always remember the password!

Here are the riddles to solve to become a Turtle.

All clean minded answers!

The answers are written backwards in the last section, don’t cheat!

Riddle #1

What is it a man can do standing up, a woman sitting down and a dog on three legs?

Riddle #2

What is it that a cow has four of and a woman has only two of?

Riddle #3

What is a four letter word ending in K that means the same as intercourse?

Riddle #4

What is it on a man that is round hard and sticks so far out of his pajamas that you can hang a hat on it?

The Answers

What? Your not sure?

Remember, these are all clean answers!

  1. sdnaH ekahS
  2. sgeL
  3. klaT
  4. daeH siH

Congrats! Your now a Turtle. Go forth and procure new members!

The Riddle Test

Once you have passed the riddle test you can be sworn in as an official Turtle and begin to procure new members. There are Turtles all around the world from every walk of life, including Presidents and astronauts! You will be part of a special group of people!

Turtle Club Cards

Turtle Club cards are a great tool to procure new members. Until you have asked the questions a bunch of times, it can be hard to remember them. The questions are on the cards and there is a spot to fill in your unique Affiliate ID. A stack of 20 cards is just $5.99 delivered to your door.
When you buy cards through the website, we set up an Affiliate ID for you automatically. Then, when you make a new Turtle, you provide your unique Affiliate link and they buy you a pint!
You earn $3 each time!

Buy Your Sponsor A Pint!

Were you sent here by your sponsor? Then buy your sponsor a pint! Make sure you got here by typing your sponsor’s Affiliate link. It looks like this: TurtleClub.us/Turtle/##   with your sponsors unique number after /Turtle/. When you buy your sponsor a pint through our shop, you receive a stack of Turtle Club cards to use, an official certificate of acceptance plus access to some cool tools to help you promote online. Ask your sponsor for their link. If you don’t have a sponsor, I’m happy to be your sponsor!

New Member Bundle

For those who want it all, we have assembled the New Member Bundle. Receive an introduction letter with your unique affiliate code, 5 Turtle Club post cards, 20 Turtle Club folded business cards, a personalized 5″ x 7″ Turtle Club photo and a lapel pin.

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