Learn the secret password, grip, and backstory about the password once you join.

Join the
Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles
or International Association of Turtles

To prove that you are of the highest morals and good character, and never vulgar, you must answer these four riddles with clean answers.

New members are initiated as a Turtle Club Us member, provided the secret password, grip and the true story of how the password originated (a belly laugh) and emailed a virtual card.

Once you complete the riddles, fill out your email address and name to join our ranks!

Simple as that!

Dave

Riddles

What does a man do standing up, a woman sitting down and a dog on three legs?

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Q1 Answered

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Q1 Correct

What is it that a cow has four of and a woman only has two of?

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Q2 Answered

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Q2 Correct

What is a four letter word ending in K that means the same as intercourse?

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Q3 Answered

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Q3 Correct

What is it on a man that is round and hard and sticks so far out of his pajamas you can hang a hat on it?

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Q4 Answered

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Q4 Correct

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All Questions Answered

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All Questions Correct

You're not quite pure-minded enough yet, there is an answer incorrect.

Congratulations! You are a Turtle! Once you click the button below you will have the opportunity to join our exclusive Turtle Directory!

Name(Required)

First Last

Your Procurement Date(Required)

Format: {DD/MM/YYYY} Pick your date (to the best of your recollection) or leave as today.

Email(Required)

Name

This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.

Membership Benefits and Levels

Turtles around the world gather to laugh, share stories, ideas and just plain fun. This long standing tradition is a community that is open to all, regardless of race or religion.

Many Ponds are created around a mission to support a charity. We encourage that behaviour and do what we can to support the efforts.

Levels Of Membership in Turtle Club Us Pond

Turtle

Complete the Riddles above and enter your email address and you will receive a virtual membership card.

Free!

Already did that and want to join our directory? Grab our Dirty Sounding Riddles and complete the form, again, all free.

Riddles & Directory Form

Honorable Turtle

Support the efforts of our pond and receive more benefits! As an Honorable Turtle you receive all the benefits of a Turtle, plus…

Listing in our Directory
Discounts on Store Items
Invite to Private Facebook Group
Special Events
You will receive in the mail:
- Member card
- Member Certificate (suitable for framing)

Only $15 per year!

Lifetime Honorable Turtle

Enjoy all the benefits of an Honorable Turtle for your lifetime!

Plus, receive an embroidered Turtle Club Us Members Polo Shirt!

This is a way to lock in your listing and provide sustaining capital to help with the growth of Turtle Club Us.

One time investment of $89!