Learn the secret password, grip, and backstory about the password once you join.

Join the
Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles
or International Association of Turtles

To prove that you are of the highest morals and good character, and never vulgar, you must answer these four riddles with clean answers.

New members are initiated as a Turtle Club Us member, provided the secret password, grip and the true story of how the password originated (a belly laugh) and emailed a virtual card.

Once you complete the riddles, fill out your email address and name to join our ranks!

Simple as that!


Membership Benefits and Levels

Turtles around the world gather to laugh, share stories, ideas and just plain fun. This long standing tradition is a community that is open to all, regardless of race or religion.

Many Ponds are created around a mission to support a charity. We encourage that behaviour and do what we can to support the efforts.

Levels Of Membership in Turtle Pond Us


Complete the Riddles on this page and enter your email address and you will receive a virtual membership card.

To register and receive your membership number and join our directory, use the button below to purchase a PDF copy of the Dirty Sounding Riddles list and create an account for 0 dollars.


Honorable Turtle

Support the efforts of our pond and receive more benefits! As an Honorable Turtle you receive all the benefits of a Turtle, plus…

  • Listing in our Directory
  • Discounts on Store Items
  • Invite to Private Facebook Group
  • Special Events
  • You will receive in the mail:
    • Member card
    • Member Certificate (suitable for framing)

Only $15 per year!

Lifetime Honorable Turtle

Enjoy all the benefits of an Honorable Turtle for your lifetime!

Plus, receive an embroidered Turtle Club Us Members Polo Shirt!

This is a way to lock in your listing and provide sustaining capital to help with the growth of Turtle Club Us.

One time investment of $89!